Kinder, Gentler

I don't know about you, but frankly I am pretty worn out from the vitriol that fills social media and the News. It doesn't matter which "side" you are on, the other side is busy slinging nastiness and shade.  It is wearying and wearing thin. It is a sideshow meant to keep us busy and it works just fine and dandy for most people.  This locking of horns has no winners.

In my life, while I do occasionally read the news or watch various newscasts, I tend to try to avoid them as much as possible because I find that they add no redeeming value to my overall life, joy, or expectancy of good in the world.  Quite the opposite is true for me, in fact.

I long for the days of kinder, gentler behavior. Maybe I am living in a la la land all my own, but I do believe that fifty years ago, people were more polite to each other overall. We had certain expectations for what you did and did not do in public in terms of raising your voice, airing your own or others' personal "dirty" laundry (because let's just note that everyone has some whether they admit to it or not) and we seemed to just in general have more common courtesy.

I admit that there have been times in my life when I succumbed to the mean girl theory of life and was uber focused on me and mine. I regret the times when I lost my sensibilities and spoke meanly to someone, when I rudely walked through a door without holding it for others, when I ran over someone else's cherished ideas and beliefs because they were not my own. I am sorry for those times and I have worked very hard to revise my manners.  I am sorry if I shouted. I am sorry for taking the low road with others. I am sorry that I forgot to be kind. I am sorry that I forgot to be gentle.

Sadly today it is more remarkable when we stumble across someone providing courtesy that once would have been considered common--holding a door open for others, helping someone put their coat on or assisting in carrying packages to a car, making sure our neighbors were okay and not in need.

In most of the places I have lived in the past twenty years, I did not know most of my neighbors.  I have tried to get to know some in the past several locations we lived with some success.  People are very distrustful.  Or on the other extreme, I wish I hadn't know some neighbors because they thought that meant they had carte blanche to ask to borrow my phone whenever they used up their own minutes, were loud and obnoxious and shared their frequent internal family grievances quite loudly out of doors, or were just plain thoughtless--leaving their trash open to scatter with the wind or piling up where it attracted varmints and bugs.

I know that there has always been a rough and ugly side to human life, but I cannot help but wish for kinder, gentler times.  I don't need to turn on my TV and watch every horrific example of human discourtesy.  Frankly, I have to say that I feel that "celebrities" behaving badly have created a culture where everyone thinks that the more openly they are shouting, fighting or just plain being ugly and mean is something to which to aspire. It saddens me as I see youth speaking rudely to each other and their elders, pushing and shoving in restaurants and movie theaters, and just not giving a damn about much of anything other than their own momentary satisfaction and gratification.

I wish for the days when we stopped to chat amiably with our neighbors. Where we opened doors for those coming in and said thank you, please, yes ma'am and no sir. I wish for the niceties of society where things were classier and more polished and we reached for being above petty behavior, mean words or actions and revenge. *sigh*

So today I must begin in my own consciousness to turn off these behaviors or even recognizing them.  I am looking for the good, the kind, the gentle. I must remove the idea of rudeness, meanness, sharp tones, ugliness within my consciousness. I can turn off my television and I do in fact hold doors open, say please, thank you, you're welcome and I speak in a civilized tone and manner for the most part.  It begins with me and part of my focus is to ignore the junk we are being spoon fed daily. I am officially taking a social media/mean girls/rudeness sabbatical. I may never return from it.  If I do go on social media, it will be to uplift, inspire, show the good, display kindness and love.

So let me end today by simply saying I wish you a delightful day where you greet happy neighbors and friends in a tone of mutual admiration and acknowledgement. May you please have a lovely environment to move, live and have your being, thank you very much.

(c) 2017 SZing, Spiritual Creator. All Rights Reserved.  Photographs courtesy of Pixabay public domain images.

Who Do You Think You Are?

As we grow older, more mature, and have more life experience under our belts, we each tend to have a more hardened idea of who we are, what we are and our story about our lives. Every success and every mistake creates a part of that story.  The question is, do we realize that the story is in fact a story? 

The way that we perceive our world isn't necessarily the way life or we actually are.  We have multiple lenses that we view the world through but they don't necessarily mean they represent us accurately.

The question is, who do you think you are? Can you define that story?  Can you tell your story in a minute or less, like an elevator speech?  What are the details of your story and who are the players in the story--who was your perpetrator, your victims, those who have helped or taught you things? Are you on the top of the world, in the pits or somewhere in between.

Maybe it would help if you wrote the story out, with or without details. Now read it. Aloud.  If it makes you cry, get angry, depresses you or hurts, then that is a good indication that it is time to change the story.  You may have some of the details incorrect. Also, you don't have to include details that you don't want to and you can add new choices for your future you.

Don't let anyone cause you to feel like you are stuck in some history, which may or may not tell the entire story.  Usually when we create our stories, we tend to focus on the areas where we got negative and positive information, and some of us focus more on the negative than on the positive.  It is vital to remember that we are not our stories.

(c) 2021 SZing, Spiritual Creator. All rights reserved.  Photographs courtesy Pixabay public domain images.

When You’re Stuck in the Tree

 

Sometimes it can feel as though no matter what you try, no matter what you do, you are stuck in the mud. We all have a past. The past informs the present and sometimes the future if we cannot move beyond the past. While we only have this moment, right now, today, many people live their lives mired in the past--things they did or didn't do, relationships they let go of or relationships they should have let go of or kept. Thoughts, and more thoughts of failure, indecision, pain or fear.  We think we are stuck. There is no hope. We can't see a way beyond the current situation.

But what I know is that there are a myriad number of ways to view stuck-ness.  And there are several things to consider before making your next "move."  Often, our first impulse is to "power through" it. To force things to change.  This often leads to being more stuck, as in mud.  Another initial impulse is from our flight or fight instincts.  We may try to relocate ourselves--sometimes in the extreme by moving hundreds or thousands of miles away from the place where we were stuck.  All this ends up doing is creating a change in geography. Usually the stuckness re-occurs.

When I was contemplating becoming an ordained minister, I found that no matter what I did, my work on my business was just exactly like slogging through mud.  I felt entirely stuck.  I had to take a different perspective and at one point whatever I was actually able to complete at the end of the day, I praised myself for doing it and released myself from any guilt or upset about not having completed more. That helped.  Then I started asking myself questions like, if not this, then what?  And in very short order, I got my answer.

The next thing to do is to ask yourself a series of questions:  What do I want?  What do I choose?  What is for my highest and best good?

Another way to handle when you are stuck is to relax. Think of a cat stuck in a tree. It usually isn't the cat that is upset and worried but the human companion. The cat, normally, just lies down on a tree limb, observes as the fireman climbs the ladder and then allows itself to be carefully extricated.  Sometimes you may not be able to move beyond it by yourself. In those cases, choose judiciously whom you allow to work with you and ask lots of questions about what their methods are, their credentials etc. especially if they are messing around with your mental well-being.

What I DO know for sure is that stuckness, like just about everything in life, does not last forever.  It is a temporary situation. You can be gentle with yourself during these times and learn to trust with absolute faith that God always has your back, always has the very best for you.  If something isn't happening as you plan, then you can be assured that there is something better for you.

(c) 2021 SZing, Spiritual Creator. All Rights Reserved. Photographs courtesy of Pixabay.

Deliberate Creation

Each day you get to have a completely blank slate to choose what you will for the day.  Some days it feels like things are heavy and confusing. There is chaotic news and misinformation all around. There seems to be manipulations and insanity at every turn of humanity.

You can go within and find that quiet place that cannot be stirred by outside forces.  You can take the time to meditate and feel for the light.  You can spend as much time as you want to in this golden sphere of peace.

And from that place of peace you can decide what you want to experience next.  Do you want to experience some lightness?  Healing?  Hope?  Allow it to come. Let yourself feel it from that place of peace and hold onto that sense even as you move back out into the day to day of the world. You get to choose deliberately what you want to be, do or have next.  You may not be able to immediately manifest millions of dollars, but you can manifest a sense of well being. You may not be able to "whoosh" away people who annoy or upset you, but you can choose to move in different circles and surround yourself with quiet or with different people.  You may not be able to fake wellness if you are feeling ill but you can invite in the light and the calm and allow it to move through your body until it pushes out everything unlike it.

You get to choose what you will deliberately create. It is not magic.  It is merely a matter of placing your attention and keeping your focus.

(c) 2021 SZing, Spiritual Creator. All Rights Reserved.  Photographs courtesy of Pixabay public domain images.

Allow Creative Solutions

We get stuck. Our thoughts get into a pattern and in fact, our actual mind gets into patterns. Our neurons fire in the same pattern as we think over and over.  In order to get a different result, it is said that we must come to the "problem" from a different level of thinking.  This means we must retrain our thoughts to fire in a different way.  We have to disrupt the synapses. This is the basis of Neuro Linguistic Programming--an interrupt pattern process.  It is the same advice that Ernest Holmes writes about when he says to turn away from the condition and the same idea that Abraham Hicks discusses on a consistent basis.

It isn't always easy to stop thinking a certain way and allow new thoughts or ideas to come in. We first have to be willing to allow the idea that there might be another way to think, do or act. We have to be willing. To Allow.  Allowing is not easy for many people, especially in Western culture where we are taught to man-handle all situations and overcome all problems.  Some problems or challenges can't be mowed through, they can't be over powered to change.  Some challenges require a different response, a different way of acting or being. They require creative solutions.

How then do we come to creative solutions? Practice. Meditation or quieting the mind is one of the first steps. A consistent and specific commitment to allow new thinking or creativity to flourish is required. (Willingness is not willing in the sense of forcing.)  And then we have to be open to new ideas--how does one come up with new ideas?

Combine different ideas together, think of the solution as another (or many different people) might view it--even your "adversaries."  Allow yourself to consider it from a different viewpoint or timeline. Try to see it from a different industries methodology or from someone of a different age group or even from a different timeline/era.  These are all good starts.  Don't force. Don't jump on the first thought that comes and abandon any other new thoughts that might come. Brainstorming requires the space for many possibilities.  Since we live in an unlimited Cosmos, allowing for a dozen or two ideas is not a huge amount.  Don't be impatient.

When we are in pain, upset or challenge, we want it to go away.  But I would subscribe to the concept that in order to get through the fire, you have to go through the fire.  While there certainly are ways around the fire, those don't give you the experience so that you don't have to go through the fire again, so you might as well go through it.  Does this mean wallow?  Certainly not. But it does mean we have to acknowledge we are in a difficult place. We have to feel the feelings, good, bad or ugly. We have to know that there is something not quite working out the way we want before we can make any attempt at finding a creative solution.

Whatever the matter is, no matter the problem, there are multiple solutions and creativity is the way to find one or more that works.  When a business fails, many people go right back into a new business. They don't slink away and give up.  They find a new way.  This is true for all things.  If a relationship isn't working, try a new way. If that doesn't work, try another method. Keep trying.  But it is okay to take a rest in between attempts to build up your stamina and your psyche.  If you can't lose weight or you are experiencing health challenges, try the next thing. If it doesn't work, go to plan b.

There is nothing that limits the number of alternative plans we can attempt.  Just because you don't hear people talking about plan zba, doesn't mean you can't have that many (or more).  The best way to allow creative solutions is to be aware. To allow and observe. To try one thing at a time and like a scientist, note what worked and what didn't. Then try again.  Eventually, the light bulb will go on.

(c) 2021 SZing, Spiritual Creator. All Rights Reserved.  Photographs courtesy of Pixabay public domain images.

Allowing the Void

It is a common situation that humans lose their faith at some point in their lives. Some people lose faith more than once and others lose it daily.

When the things that we hold dear are threatened or destroyed, one natural response is to become disoriented or depressed as a result.  To lose faith in self, others, society, life, or even God is a conundrum that occurs for most people at some point in life.

There does not seem to be a quick fix for this.  And it even can sometimes take a while before that uneasy, off-kilter feeling is actually identified for what it is...the loss of faith.  It goes hand in hand with a loss of hope in  many instances.  Many of my artist and LGBT friends are going through this now as they see the transition of power at the Capitol of our country.

Others have lost faith in the things they held dear as over time things have not worked out the way they thought they would or the way they hoped that they would. There comes a time in every person's life where some of the things that were once dreamt of have to be quietly put away as the dreams that they are where they will not become reality.  That day is a very difficult time, no matter what the dream is that has to be let go.  And it is often a trigger for losing faith.

I recently had a situation occur where I thought I was going to be focusing the rest of my life in one direction, only to have that completely change in the blink of an eye.  It wasn't really anything I foresaw and the change was not really something I had much control over--it was a series of events by others that impacted my life--as can happen with a death of a loved one or a change in direction.

I have been trying to redefine what it is that my life focus will now be about that has meaning for me. The changes impacted my spiritual faith as well and I have had to release some of the ideas I had held for a long while realizing that they were not True or Truth.  I have spent several months redefining what my belief in God and my spiritual life actually look like as I realized that what I used to believe no longer works for me.

Rather than jumping in headfirst or overwhelming myself with loads of possibilities to replace that void, and there is a large void for me to examine and redefine, I am choosing to take my time.  I sit with the feelings and unknowingness I now have a bit each day and allow myself to feel that void. I know that I have lost a piece of my faith although at an underlying level I know that I have lost nothing. I know that the outward picture of what it looks like for me has changed and now I am sitting and allowing the new definition and a new awareness to come to me of what the next level of my spiritual life and my faith looks and feels like in my life as I move forward. I don't have the answers to that yet, but I am learning each day to allow, and rather than searching relentlessly, I am quiet and in a place of allowing. Allowing.  It is not my most native state, but it is sculpting what the next stage and state of my life will be.

(c) 2021 SZing, Spiritual Creator. All Rights Reserved.  Photographs courtesy of Pixabay public domain images.

Who Are You?

You get to decide who you are.  No one else can tell you, even if they think they know.  No one can define your life for you.  You get to decide what is important to you. You get to choose the dreams and goals you have.  You get to choose which details you want to include and add to with your self improvements and changes.

Who do you want to be?  If your existing story doesn't match with where you want to be or how you want to be viewed, then you DO get to change it.  If it feels weird at first, start with small details.

If a relationship did not turn out the way you wanted, you can literally rewrite the ending.  That doesn't mean you deny whatever the facts are.  It means that whatever the facts are you can choose to change how you respond or react to them.

In order to create the you who you want to be, you can practice.  You didn't learn to walk or talk in one shot and revising your perception of yourself is the same.  In fact, it may take more practice than you think because you've probably used the same story over and over for months, maybe even years. If you can't quite get your mind to switch from the old story, again, try writing your new story down. Read it in the morning when you wake up, read it as you get dressed, read it looking in the mirror (lots of times), read it anytime you have a chance until you no longer have to read it, and eventually you won't have to even think about it because it will have become your new story.

Remember, no story is who you are. A story is a story.  YOU are you.  The story is extraneous.

It all comes down to who you want to be, how you want to be and committing to the change to becoming that person.

(c) 2021 SZing, Spiritual Creator. All rights reserved.  Photographs courtesy Pixabay public domain images.